Sweatshirt to kill

Once there was a king who received a gift of two magnificent falcons from Arabia. They were peregrine falcons, the most beautiful birds he had ever seen. He gave the precious birds to his head falconer to be trained. Months passed and one day the head falconer informed the king that though one of the falcons was flying majestically, soaring high in the sky, the other bird had not moved from its branch since the day it had arrived. The king summoned healers and sorcerers from all the land to tend to the falcon, but no one could make the bird fly. He presented the task to the member of his court, but the next day, the king saw through the palace window that the bird had still not moved from its perch. Having tried everything else, the king thought to himself, "May be I need someone more familiar with the countryside to understand the nature of this problem." So he cried out to his court, "Go and get a farmer." In the morning, the king was thrilled to see the falcon soaring high above the palace gardens. He said to his court, "Bring me the doer of this miracle." The court quickly located the farmer, who came and stood before the king. The king asked him, "How did you make the falcon fly?" With his head bowed, the farmer said to the king, " It was very easy, your highness. I simply cut the branch where the bird was sitting." We are all made to fly -- to realize our incredible potential as human beings. But instead of doing that, we sit on our branches, clinging to the things that are familiar to us. The possibilities are endless, but for most of us, they remain undiscovered. We conform to the familiar, the comfortable, the mundane. So for the most part, our lives are mediocre instead of exciting, thrilling and fulfilling. So let us learn to destroy the branch of fear we cling to and free ourselves to the glory of flight !!!!!!!

Joke Life

Fred: My girlfriend spends hours in front of the mirror admiring her beauty. Do you think that's vanity? George: No, it's just imagination. Joe: My girlfriend uses lemon juice for her complexion. Bob: Maybe that's why she always looks so sour-faced. Last night my girlfriend said that I am a great wit. Well, she's half right. What did the artist say to his girlfriend? "I love you with all my art." My girlfriend is just like a fine French Impressionist painting. She's very lovely, but is best appreciated at a distance. George: My girlfriend has a beautiful pair of eyes, her skin has the glow of a peach, her cheeks are like apples and her lips like cherries. Fred: Sounds more like a fruit salad to me. My new girlfriend has lovely long brown hair all down her back. It's just a shame that she doen't have any on her head. I call my girlfriend 'Laryngitis' because she's a right pain in the neck. My girlfriend's cooking is just like a good man, hard to keep down. John: My girlfriend reminds me of a Greek statue. Dave: You mean she's very beautiful? John: Yeah, beautiful, but not all there.