Joke Life

Fred: My girlfriend spends hours in front of the mirror admiring her beauty. Do you think that's vanity? George: No, it's just imagination. Joe: My girlfriend uses lemon juice for her complexion. Bob: Maybe that's why she always looks so sour-faced. Last night my girlfriend said that I am a great wit. Well, she's half right. What did the artist say to his girlfriend? "I love you with all my art." My girlfriend is just like a fine French Impressionist painting. She's very lovely, but is best appreciated at a distance. George: My girlfriend has a beautiful pair of eyes, her skin has the glow of a peach, her cheeks are like apples and her lips like cherries. Fred: Sounds more like a fruit salad to me. My new girlfriend has lovely long brown hair all down her back. It's just a shame that she doen't have any on her head. I call my girlfriend 'Laryngitis' because she's a right pain in the neck. My girlfriend's cooking is just like a good man, hard to keep down. John: My girlfriend reminds me of a Greek statue. Dave: You mean she's very beautiful? John: Yeah, beautiful, but not all there.